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Protected: It’s heavy…and I am tired

18 July , 2021

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Find your voice my pink terrorist

29 May , 2021

I can’t actually believe we’ve been dealing with this shit AGAIN.

For moooooonths now Nicola has been at the mercy (or believed herself to be so) of a bully. This kid was previously a friend, and wormed his way into her close circle…only to have her repeatedly booted out. The first time was when he was targeting one of the other girls and she stood up to him. Suddenly they all turned on her, even the one who was in trouble before.

He would then take great delight in passing her on the playground sitting alone, and mock her for not having any friends and apparently being a socially awkward freak who reads and only has books for friends.

I can’t tell you how many tears I’ve shouldered from my kind hearted and faultlessly loyal kid over this. I have very much dreamt in high definition of facing this little snot nose myself, but I can’t. Firstly, it wouldn’t be a fair fight. And secondly, if Nicola doesn’t learn how to show some teeth, he will just be replaced by the next bully in short order.

So Thursday night we had the chat again. I told her, stop letting this little shit push you around. Tell him you don’t take orders from him and if he can’t stand being around you, then he should leave. Andy told her to knock his teeth out (boys sometimes have a much simpler way of dealing with things haha). Anyway, we both agreed that she should do what feels appropriate to her, and if there’s consequences we’ll back her 100%, but she needed to do something.

And she did! 😁 She told him he was a sniveling little bitch who couldn’t do anything for himself, and he was free to fuck off for all she cared, but she wasn’t going to dance to his tune any more.

I would have maybe gone with a different wording, but I fully endorse the sentiment. She said he wound his neck in quickly after that…long may it last. Peace has been restored to the land.

This is an extremely difficult age, when everyone is flexing whatever power they think they’re growing into. In my opinion this is especially hard for girls, they are all going through a process of finding their inner bitch. Part of growing up I guess, definitely much harder to see someone go through it without being able to help, than going through it yourself.

Also, a gift. In hard times, which are inevitable, you really get to see who’s in your corner. Fair weather friends versus your actual tribe. Not fun, but definitely valuable.

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Fancy meeting you here

29 March , 2021

As I’ve mentioned, our weekends are mostly full of markets these days. You get to know the other vendors and people involved pretty well over time. Imagine my surprise when someone greeted me by name, that didn’t look very familiar to me. Anyhoo, the bloody masks are to blame for that…and also that I haven’t seen him in aaaaages.

We ended up set up next to TGC’s brother at the market yesterday. (For those who weren’t reading here way back when, in short he’s Nicola’s uncle…who she has never met).

It was a bit awkward at first, but we were chatting about everything except that thing, and I guess we would have not talked about it all day but thankfully he broke the ice eventually. It turns out neither one of us is on speaking terms with TGC, and we hold pretty similar views on his behaviour.

Most importantly, there is actually no bad blood between us, and never has been. We have tentatively agreed to let Nicola and his daughter meet each other if our significant others agree. And it was actually a pretty surreal but pleasant experience clearing the air so to speak.

Andy and I agreed that we would first discuss it with Nicola and see where her head is at, and her head is in the clouds about it, which comes as no surprise. She is excited to meet her mystery cousin, aunt and uncle, on condition that she absolutely does not want to meet TGC. I am completely on board with this.

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Unexpected

13 March , 2021

So, this school year is off to a crazy start…some of it good, some not so much. N has had to cope with a couple of doozies already, and it’s like this sign was an omen or something because she really is flying!

Let me set the scene (well, to a certain extent as I have only managed to wiggle very scant details out of the N vault). There was a heated incident in her circle of friends. She wasn’t even directly involved, but came out swinging in defence of the one she saw crying about it. She either really doesn’t know what the original fight was about or she doesn’t want to say.

It went very pear shaped. A few days after this it seemed like the original owners of the issue had put it behind them and 2 of the 3 girls had put N’s participation behind them too, although they did say they can’t talk to her at school until the other one does too. I suggested that it might be a good idea to apologise to number 3 for the intense reaction so that they could move on past this.

A few days later they all got together to tell N she’s not welcome there anymore. Even the one she stood up for. Girls this age are not freaking funny guys, harsh, harsh, harsh…anyhoo, we’re trying to give her the space to work through this in her own way, but I did say that she probably didn’t need “friends” like that anyway. Sjoe, not even my friends but the one I really expected better from, and the betrayal stings even though it’s not mine. *Reminds self not to get involved unless asked*

So I was kind of expecting some grumpiness and melancholy in the home front, understandably, but it has been the exact opposite of that!

It’s like the weight of the world has lifted off her shoulders. She’s chatty and animated, she’s laughing and helping out around the house, she’s already made a bunch of new budds and started a study club with some of them. She clocked an amazing 90% on her English oral and managed to connect with her Maths teacher. She hasn’t even moaned once about losing her screen time for a month (day of the fight she lashed out “a bit” at home).

Honestly, I’m in awe of how she’s doing with this. Am I missing something? Is it really going to be that easy? I have been watching her like a hawk to see if this is a I’m-doing-great show, but no, she genuinely seem to be on top of the world. What a relief! Also makes me speculate a bit in the true nature of this previous friendship to be honest.

This age was hard enough for me as a kid, but I had more control over it when it was my own life. Watching your kid learn to deal with this sort of thing is a kak spectator sport I tell you! Thank goodness she seems to be doing a fabulous job on it.

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I promised more upbeat

25 February , 2021

I did a bit of a glance back after my last post, and I realise it seems like I’ve just been reeling from disaster to disaster this last year.

It’s both true, and not true at the same time. Yes, it has certainly been next level challenging, but there have been some pretty awesome things along the way too. I guess I don’t give those things enough airtime…mostly because I tend to write when I need a place to vent.

Also, a touch of survivor’s guilt? We’ve kept to ourselves for the most part during this year looooong lockdown. Er, for the most part. I think the amount of times we didn’t, socially, we could count on the fingers of one hand…and then obviously we’ve been to outdoor markets, because that is how we make a living. I know that we are above average blessed to be Covid free even with just these things, but I haven’t really posted any fun things for the last year, because THE GUILT!

Anyway, it is what it is. We are tired of living in a bubble, so we have had some exposure…but only as much as we are comfortable with, and truthfully it’s not much. I actually feel like I’m being robbed of a great many farewells since it doesn’t look like like this Pantyline (a.k.a Pandemic) is budging before we hopefully get to spread our wings, and there are a lot of really important goodbeys I still need to say.

Okay, without further ado, before ky upbeat turns into violin solo, I’ll let the photos do the talking. These are my favs from about the last time I showed you anything. 😉