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Fancy meeting you here

29 March , 2021

As I’ve mentioned, our weekends are mostly full of markets these days. You get to know the other vendors and people involved pretty well over time. Imagine my surprise when someone greeted me by name, that didn’t look very familiar to me. Anyhoo, the bloody masks are to blame for that…and also that I haven’t seen him in aaaaages.

We ended up set up next to TGC’s brother at the market yesterday. (For those who weren’t reading here way back when, in short he’s Nicola’s uncle…who she has never met).

It was a bit awkward at first, but we were chatting about everything except that thing, and I guess we would have not talked about it all day but thankfully he broke the ice eventually. It turns out neither one of us is on speaking terms with TGC, and we hold pretty similar views on his behaviour.

Most importantly, there is actually no bad blood between us, and never has been. We have tentatively agreed to let Nicola and his daughter meet each other if our significant others agree. And it was actually a pretty surreal but pleasant experience clearing the air so to speak.

Andy and I agreed that we would first discuss it with Nicola and see where her head is at, and her head is in the clouds about it, which comes as no surprise. She is excited to meet her mystery cousin, aunt and uncle, on condition that she absolutely does not want to meet TGC. I am completely on board with this.

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Unexpected

13 March , 2021

So, this school year is off to a crazy start…some of it good, some not so much. N has had to cope with a couple of doozies already, and it’s like this sign was an omen or something because she really is flying!

Let me set the scene (well, to a certain extent as I have only managed to wiggle very scant details out of the N vault). There was a heated incident in her circle of friends. She wasn’t even directly involved, but came out swinging in defence of the one she saw crying about it. She either really doesn’t know what the original fight was about or she doesn’t want to say.

It went very pear shaped. A few days after this it seemed like the original owners of the issue had put it behind them and 2 of the 3 girls had put N’s participation behind them too, although they did say they can’t talk to her at school until the other one does too. I suggested that it might be a good idea to apologise to number 3 for the intense reaction so that they could move on past this.

A few days later they all got together to tell N she’s not welcome there anymore. Even the one she stood up for. Girls this age are not freaking funny guys, harsh, harsh, harsh…anyhoo, we’re trying to give her the space to work through this in her own way, but I did say that she probably didn’t need “friends” like that anyway. Sjoe, not even my friends but the one I really expected better from, and the betrayal stings even though it’s not mine. *Reminds self not to get involved unless asked*

So I was kind of expecting some grumpiness and melancholy in the home front, understandably, but it has been the exact opposite of that!

It’s like the weight of the world has lifted off her shoulders. She’s chatty and animated, she’s laughing and helping out around the house, she’s already made a bunch of new budds and started a study club with some of them. She clocked an amazing 90% on her English oral and managed to connect with her Maths teacher. She hasn’t even moaned once about losing her screen time for a month (day of the fight she lashed out “a bit” at home).

Honestly, I’m in awe of how she’s doing with this. Am I missing something? Is it really going to be that easy? I have been watching her like a hawk to see if this is a I’m-doing-great show, but no, she genuinely seem to be on top of the world. What a relief! Also makes me speculate a bit in the true nature of this previous friendship to be honest.

This age was hard enough for me as a kid, but I had more control over it when it was my own life. Watching your kid learn to deal with this sort of thing is a kak spectator sport I tell you! Thank goodness she seems to be doing a fabulous job on it.

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I promised more upbeat

25 February , 2021

I did a bit of a glance back after my last post, and I realise it seems like I’ve just been reeling from disaster to disaster this last year.

It’s both true, and not true at the same time. Yes, it has certainly been next level challenging, but there have been some pretty awesome things along the way too. I guess I don’t give those things enough airtime…mostly because I tend to write when I need a place to vent.

Also, a touch of survivor’s guilt? We’ve kept to ourselves for the most part during this year looooong lockdown. Er, for the most part. I think the amount of times we didn’t, socially, we could count on the fingers of one hand…and then obviously we’ve been to outdoor markets, because that is how we make a living. I know that we are above average blessed to be Covid free even with just these things, but I haven’t really posted any fun things for the last year, because THE GUILT!

Anyway, it is what it is. We are tired of living in a bubble, so we have had some exposure…but only as much as we are comfortable with, and truthfully it’s not much. I actually feel like I’m being robbed of a great many farewells since it doesn’t look like like this Pantyline (a.k.a Pandemic) is budging before we hopefully get to spread our wings, and there are a lot of really important goodbeys I still need to say.

Okay, without further ado, before ky upbeat turns into violin solo, I’ll let the photos do the talking. These are my favs from about the last time I showed you anything. 😉

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Too close (again)

21 February , 2021

I swear there are good things happening too, and by hook or by crook I think my next post needs to be a bit sunny side up for a change…

So our Martha, who has been working here for about 10 years, needed to get home in a hurry last week. Her daughter went missing. If it was any other kid, you might be tempted to think it was a case of when the cat’s away the mice will play, but definitely not Perseverance.

Her mom couldn’t have named her better if she met her before birth. This girl is a HARD worker. She earned a scholarship for high school based on her academic performance, and she was due to start there in the boarding school two days after she went missing. She had been packing and repacking her bag and she was extremely excited to start her new adventure!

And then she disappeared.

It’s a six hour journey for her mom to get home, and she was still two hours away when she let us know Perseverance had been found…and something not to be taken for granted here…she was still alive!

There are a lot of detail that followed as the story unfolded, but the long and short of it is more or less:

– Four girls were walking together when they got snatched, two got away somehow
– The other two were taken to a house by 3 men and a woman, where they were drugged
– These thugs had a name list of girls they were meant to get, and before the girls lost consciousness they heard them fighting because they were apparently too young for the list (13 instead of 17)

– The woman then pretended to find them unconscious in a field and took them to the police station, who in turn took them to a local doctor
– They took daaays before they were fully awake again, they can’t stop crying and are both receiving trauma counseling

– The culprits have been caught, and the woman apparently feels it’s a bit unfair that she is being held since the girls were returned after all. Wow! Really?!

– Oh, and she managed to shake the parents down for R3000 medical expenses that she apparently put through on her medical aid somehow…mmm, I feel like there might be more details that will come to light here? 🤔

– The female officer taking Perseverance’s statement said to her, “You are so cute! If you were younger I would have stolen you myself!”. I mean, there is NO appropriate time to say something like that, but I think this might have been the LEAST appropriate time of all. What the actual fuck.

Martha looks like she’s aged 10 years in a week, and Perseverance will start school tomorrow and continue to receive councelling through the social worker. She hasn’t lost a week though, she’s lost her innocence and confidence, and the sparkle in her eyes. And that is really a lot harder to get back than a week of school work.

One moment can really change everything…

If there is any justice in this world, those assholes will never see freedom again. If they do get out and go back to that area somehow, there is a lynch mob waiting for them…and honestly, I don’t blame them one little bit.

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Protected: A tiny wallow

12 February , 2021

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