The longest…and hardest goodbye

19 February , 2020

So, I’ve been quiet since my holiday post. I had lots to process, and to be honest I didn’t really feel like talking about it.

It has been fucking hard!

My brother and his peeps had their visas approved, and over the course of two weeks they left for New Zealand. Karen went first, her visa was approved first and she had to more or less get off the plane and hit the ground running. Riaan and Reghardt followed two weeks later, which all things considered was probably the best way to travel for them as Riaan really knows how to keep that little man calm.

Many things happened over the course of the two weeks they stayed here with us (Andy helped them clear out and sell the contents of the house). It was the best of times and the worst of times all rolled into one.

Let me show you in photos, because…you know…that’s my thing.


Sjoe! This was hard to watch. I take my hat off to Karen. I don’t think I have it in me to walk through those gates without my family and not look back so that they don’t see me cry. We tried to keep dry eyes for Reghardt and focus on the adventure part of this, but we were not very successful.


This…so heart breaking…my brother gently explained to him that they had to be brave for mommy, because she was all alone and at least they had each other.


We couldn’t actually see her plane, but we looked at plains for Reghardt anyway.


Riaan got him a count down calendar for when he’ll see mommy again, and this was the highlight of his day to count down sleeps to go. Not a single tantrum out of him about it in two weeks. He really was so very brave!


Helping my brother catalogue his container. Haha, the ugly duckling ornament I gave them as a wedding present made the cut! It was a gag gift, and they kept it anyway…aaaawe.


Second round of friend farewells with my brother. This one you could see really got to him, it because very very real at this point. On the way home he was quietly sobbing in the back of the car. I handed him a roll of TP and let him have his moment.

Some things really get you in the feels.

At the first friend farewell I more or less drowned myself and decided to document my journey one glass at a time.


D-day, fly day, the long awaited going to mommy day! Started off with smiles from the two cuzzies.


Some stretching before the loooooong sit.


We weren’t allowed to nap on the couch. Nuh-uh! Reghardt would be on his way to the airport by 10:00 if he had his way. They actually only left at 20:00-ish. “Jy kan nie nou slaap nie Tessa, ons moet lughawe toe gaan!”


Excitement in the air. These two were obviously very excited to be reunited with Karen.


Some of us were not as excited as others. My mom asked me if we should wear shades to the airport to hide our tears. I said no fucking way, I am going to wail as if my life depends on it. I am sad to see them go, and I don’t care who sees it.

There is a time to be sad, and this was definitely it. (I know, I’m very mature some times haha).


There is also time for a laugh. As I told Riaan, it is going to be awesome, you just need to get through this sucky bit first.

We can still laugh. Even when we’re sad as hell.


Reghardt walking with Oupa and Ouma.


Luggage checked in, ready to rumble.


This must be the longest bloody walk to see from the outside. Excruciating.

We were a bloody hot mess by this time. Everyone sobbing. Reghardt looking a bit confused. This is not what he had been counting down to. He kept asking why we’re all crying so we had to pull ourselves together somewhat for him.

Of course, him being the clown that he is, he managed to lighten the mood his own way. We were pulling faces at each other all the way to the checkpoint, and little social butterfly that he is, by the time he passed through there he was exchanging secret handshakes with the official. This little dude will be just fine…


Loss has a way of either bringing people together or driving them apart. It remains to be seen how this is going to play out.

This is not a classic loss, I get it, but sjoe! It feels like it at times. We just went from a seeing everyone twice a week family to we’ll maybe see you in 3 to 5 years again family. It’s a bloody massive loss.


Waiting to board. We didn’t get many messages once they were in the air, but apparently Reghardt tried to chat with a few fellow passengers (in Afrikaans), however everyone around them were French, so no luck.

He then plan B-ed it by watching non stop movies for about 24 of the 28 hours they were travelling, one 2 hour nap. Hardcore little dude!


Reunited! 🙂


Major jet lag and catching up on a loooot of sleep, haha!


First walk in the new great outdoors for Reghardt.

I hope and trust that they will soon settle in and that they will be very happy in their new country.

We miss them like crazy, and we’ll be going through this again from the other perspective again in a few short months.

Rough. Rough. Rough.


Family vacation

13 January , 2020

We came back from the most amazing family vacation in Ballito yesterday, and I haven’t stopped bawling my eyes out since then.

My baby brother and his family have their medical examinations today. If they pass they’ll be on their way to NZ within a week.

I don’t want them to stay. This is definitely the right move for them. Still…he’s my baby brother and it SUCKS! I’m going to miss them like crazy.

Send lots of tissues…I need them all.


Stop it now already

26 December , 2019

Someone keeps trying to reset my blog password. A very persistent 8 goes today.

Fuck off now “buddy”, this is my online diary. Grrr…

We’ve got your IP adress.


Happy Birthday my Spiggy!

23 December , 2019

To the very best husband I could have ever asked for, happy birthday!

You know, you never ask for anything, never expect anything, accept people for exactly who they are no ifs or butts or maybes. You know when I need a bit of extra love and support, even if I don’t say a the anything and I have my game-faces on, and you are the best most loving dad to Noodle, especially for someone fairly new to the gig. You are always ready to roll up sleeves and get whatever needs getting done, all the way done! You are the perfect mix of tough and tender, and if home is where the heart is you are our home.

We love you to the moon and back Spiggy and we are so happy to be able to celebrate your birthday with you. xxx


10 Years of Magic

19 December , 2019

Happy birthday darling Nicola! It’s suck a privilege to be your mamma.

Just about daily, people tell us how beautiful you are, but the real beauty which they don’t even always get to see is your gentle heart and your keen wit. Yes, you are pretty…but more importantly you are kind. There is not one single thing I would change about you, even if I could. You are straight up amazing!

It has been a tough year for you. Truth is, you’re not like everyone else – you are better. You’re no one’s sheep, you have a inquiring mind and you most definitely have a strong will of your own! That comes with a price of not always fitting in, and although I am sure that you will grow to love that about yourself in years to come, right now it hurts like hell some days.

Just remember…your vibe attracts your tribe. I don’t think you’ve found your tribe yet when it comes to friends necessarily, but you’ll see. You’ll find them as soon as you get comfortable with yourself. I am very excited to walk with you on this, and I absolutely love that we can still always talk about everything. I can’t go through this for you, but I will always be your shoulder to cry on, and I can teach you how to throw a mean punch if one is needed. Or laugh about something together that no one else gets.

Happy birthday Noodle! Love you to the moon and back, and I am so incredibly proud of you. Always remember that! xxx


My tired is tired

28 November , 2019


I haven’t slept more than an uninterrupted hour or two in the last four days. I can’t begin to explain to you how exhausted I am right now, haha. Normal programming will resume…sometime…probably not tomorrow. Tomorrow I’m going to sleep like a dead person.

I bit off a bit more than I could chew to begin with, and it needed me to sit my dinges down and listen to 6,5 hours of recordings quite attentively on a very tight timeline. To add next level difficulties to the task at hand, I slipped a disk and couldn’t sit for a couple of days, and apparently I may also be going deaf. There are parts of my notes that only read, “WTF are they saying?!” all I hear is chair screeching across the floor and coughing. Of course the one person who mumbles the most will always sit the furthest away from the recorded before dominating the conversation in undecipherable mmmummmmblinnnng! Grrr…

Never mind me, I’m just grumpy cause I’m tired. And my ears hurt.

Oooh! OOh! I do have some good news. Well, I guess it depends on your point of view, but from my seat it looks as rosy as a flamingo’s butt! I’ve started selling Annique products as an independent consultant.

In general I might be the least likely person anyone would or should ask about make up and skin care, but I do actually love their products and I’ve been using Resque mist since 2006! I am learning about the other stuff, picked up quite a bit already and I’ve already hit my 40 day target on day 3. So blessed with all the support from family and friends!

So, you know, if you want to find out more or get your hands on some amazing goodies, let me know – I’ll hook you up! Don’t ask me about the make up just yet, I haven’t read those training docs yet.

Ps! Look at this cookie Andy made me while I was grumping on the couch with head phones on…

Best husband ever! He really gets me. ❤


All things Hogwarts and small update

18 November , 2019

Is it my imagination or are all parties themed Harry Potter at the moment, might be my imagination but we had two just this past weekend! I’m not complaining mind you, it turns out I can whip up a fairly decent shoestring budget Harry Potter themed gift if given a bit of notice.

Nicola has mentioned that she also wants a Harry Potter birthday, although we did have to sadly tell her no party this year, but my mom will still bake a cake, and since she has her birthday two days before my brother and four days before Andy, the three of them will do something together…and when I mean something I mean share a cake and a family braai. Nicola has asked if she can invite 4 friends to come swim and eat cake…we can swing that. Riaan said one of them should pick the flavour of the cake, one the shape and one the decoration. Nicola said she wants to pick decor, so Riaan said he’ll do flavour and he wants cheescake…which she’s not a fan of…Andy will have to pick shape. After a bit of negotiation it seems it’s going chocholate, round and Harry Potter. Nicola is a good negotiator, hahaha…

Anyhoo, before I get to the photos and my general rambling, we have had some news with regards to relocating, if not on our own, my SIL has received a job offer (actually two) from NZ and if she accepts, they will be there by end of January next year! We are extremely excited for them, although we will miss them terribly.

Hopefully once they’ve flown the coop and if our plans pan out for September, my folks can also look at going. They have been clear on it that they won’t go anywhere until we’re all gone. They might actually prefer just selling and getting a small lock up and go property instead, and do looooong visits between the two countries once we’ve all settled in and my mom’s retired. We’re going from a weekly family night family to a three continent situation in the next 9 months. Surreal. Some aspects of this makes me very excited, and some makes me cry softly in the shower.

It is what it is, I guess.

Now, onto photos:


Cuzzie wuzzy, clowning around…THIS ONE is quite a character! Riaan had us in stitches with tales of his recent antics. I think he has a really bright future in drama, haha…


Us, at a recent fancy pants luncheon held by clients. You can tell when a lunch becomes a luncheon that it’s going to be like that. We actually had a brilliant time! Especially if you consider this was a week after my operation and I was sore as hell and could hardly eat anything lunchoen-y.

I was fifty shades of green after this, but it was totally worth it and luckily short lived.


I have always sucked at making pom-poms, I think because I rush it. This time round I really took my time with it and went extra fluffy.

Whenever I try my hand at pom-poms I always think of my niece Thea, who used to make the most adorable little pom-pom-chickens when we were kids. She was killed in a car accident, just after her brother was paralysed from the neck down defending her against an armed ex boyfriend. It’s a super tragic story, which is I guess why pom-poms make me a little sad…


Behold my super fluffy owls I made. actually Nicola and Andy helped me so much, we all made it together. These went on the gift bags for the Harry Potter parties.


And I hand-painted this mug (mostly with a toothpick) for my friend Bfly, along with a set of leg warmers because her one foot is always cold after she picked up nerve damage from an accident at work.

Happy to report she LOVED it!

And it has given me a great idea for small family gifts for Christmas, which I’ve already kicked off.


Hydrangeas at Nicola’s school – so pretty!


Also at Nicola’s school. I like to think of this guy as Sheldon, he is almost always sitting in the same spot when we arrive in the mornings.


Nicola trying out some every flavour beans and accidentally encountering a vomit flavoured one, hahaha!


Not often I get snuggles like this anymore, she’s growing up so fast!