Archive for the ‘Rambling’ Category

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Protected: It’s heavy…and I am tired

18 July , 2021

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Unexpected

13 March , 2021

So, this school year is off to a crazy start…some of it good, some not so much. N has had to cope with a couple of doozies already, and it’s like this sign was an omen or something because she really is flying!

Let me set the scene (well, to a certain extent as I have only managed to wiggle very scant details out of the N vault). There was a heated incident in her circle of friends. She wasn’t even directly involved, but came out swinging in defence of the one she saw crying about it. She either really doesn’t know what the original fight was about or she doesn’t want to say.

It went very pear shaped. A few days after this it seemed like the original owners of the issue had put it behind them and 2 of the 3 girls had put N’s participation behind them too, although they did say they can’t talk to her at school until the other one does too. I suggested that it might be a good idea to apologise to number 3 for the intense reaction so that they could move on past this.

A few days later they all got together to tell N she’s not welcome there anymore. Even the one she stood up for. Girls this age are not freaking funny guys, harsh, harsh, harsh…anyhoo, we’re trying to give her the space to work through this in her own way, but I did say that she probably didn’t need “friends” like that anyway. Sjoe, not even my friends but the one I really expected better from, and the betrayal stings even though it’s not mine. *Reminds self not to get involved unless asked*

So I was kind of expecting some grumpiness and melancholy in the home front, understandably, but it has been the exact opposite of that!

It’s like the weight of the world has lifted off her shoulders. She’s chatty and animated, she’s laughing and helping out around the house, she’s already made a bunch of new budds and started a study club with some of them. She clocked an amazing 90% on her English oral and managed to connect with her Maths teacher. She hasn’t even moaned once about losing her screen time for a month (day of the fight she lashed out “a bit” at home).

Honestly, I’m in awe of how she’s doing with this. Am I missing something? Is it really going to be that easy? I have been watching her like a hawk to see if this is a I’m-doing-great show, but no, she genuinely seem to be on top of the world. What a relief! Also makes me speculate a bit in the true nature of this previous friendship to be honest.

This age was hard enough for me as a kid, but I had more control over it when it was my own life. Watching your kid learn to deal with this sort of thing is a kak spectator sport I tell you! Thank goodness she seems to be doing a fabulous job on it.

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I promised more upbeat

25 February , 2021

I did a bit of a glance back after my last post, and I realise it seems like I’ve just been reeling from disaster to disaster this last year.

It’s both true, and not true at the same time. Yes, it has certainly been next level challenging, but there have been some pretty awesome things along the way too. I guess I don’t give those things enough airtime…mostly because I tend to write when I need a place to vent.

Also, a touch of survivor’s guilt? We’ve kept to ourselves for the most part during this year looooong lockdown. Er, for the most part. I think the amount of times we didn’t, socially, we could count on the fingers of one hand…and then obviously we’ve been to outdoor markets, because that is how we make a living. I know that we are above average blessed to be Covid free even with just these things, but I haven’t really posted any fun things for the last year, because THE GUILT!

Anyway, it is what it is. We are tired of living in a bubble, so we have had some exposure…but only as much as we are comfortable with, and truthfully it’s not much. I actually feel like I’m being robbed of a great many farewells since it doesn’t look like like this Pantyline (a.k.a Pandemic) is budging before we hopefully get to spread our wings, and there are a lot of really important goodbeys I still need to say.

Okay, without further ado, before ky upbeat turns into violin solo, I’ll let the photos do the talking. These are my favs from about the last time I showed you anything. 😉

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Protected: A tiny wallow

12 February , 2021

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Roughed up

10 January , 2021

I can’t sleep. It’s been quite an evening, and my stomach is in knots.

My father in law phoned us to ask for help. His space cadette neighbour beat him up and kicked him all over the kitchen. This wasn’t the first time. So you can imagine, my husband was seeing red by the time we got there. I actually went with the exclusive purpose of trying to keep him calm and if possible wrapping this up before curfew.

Long story short…we called the police and nothing happened. The guy knows them. They said my FIL must go to the doctor tomorrow, and only after that he can lay a charge. And then they left. Okay bye old man who was just allegedly brutally assaulted and WannaBe-Viking neighbour who’s clearly as high as a kite and allegedly aggro to boot. May the force be with you…but not the actual police force. Clearly assault gets taken very “seriously” around here, what an absolute tragedy/travesty.

This muppet was on his best behaviour while they were there, and the moment they left he became quite threatening to all of us. It was obvious that he recons he’s untouchable, and even though he called us all sorts of names (really, all sorts) I went with my gut feel that I was the only one there he didn’t actually reeeeally want to hit. I think being a woman gave me a bit of an advantage there…he was obviously squaring up for a fight, but he wanted to hit or be hit by one of the men. Hard to not look like a shit when you hit a woman. Although beating up an old man is not much better, and that didn’t seem to bug him.

(But guy, you don’t know me, I’m not a classical damsel in distress. I CAN defend myself, and if you lay as much as a finger on me, I’d actually be the least of your worries and I’m pretty fierce even on my own.)

So I kept stepping in between him and my husband and FIL and telling him to back off. I’d say the last five minutes it could have gone either way, he was getting more aggressive and frustrated by the minute. I can speculate why, but so be it. We weren’t giving him what he wanted (I’m taking credit for this restraint by the way, everyone was keen to rumble. Side note: If I am ever the voice of reason, things are really not looking great). What we did do however was take a video of him threatening us all, haha…we’ll see how untouchable you are tomorrow, punk.

We couldn’t leave Andy’s dad there obviously, so we took him with us and made it home with minutes to spare before curfew. Tomorrow we’ll take him for the medical exam and to open a case. And very likely at a different police station that the one where the neighbour seems to know everyone. He’s not untouchable, despite what he seems to think.

And tomorrow we’ll also start arranging for Andy’s dad to go to Germany too. Whether he wants to or not. Too often we hear from him that he’s been mugged, or run over by a car or assaulted by this neighbour, or fell in an open manhole. It never ends, and I for one have had it now. He’s got family there and they’re all begging him to come live with them, but for some reason he wants to wait till we go and come to us. Andy and his dad are only barely on speaking terms as it is, and after almost three years together he still calls me sweetie cause he doesn’t know my name. Andy made it very clear that’s not happening. Ever. So he needs to take the options available to him and go somewhere where it’s safer for him.

I’m emotionally exhausted after this whole Jerry Springer-ish drama, but simultaneously so pumped with adrenaline that I can’t actually sleep. So I’m replaying events over and over in my head, and drowning my sorrows in numerous cups of Rooibos.

What. A. Day.