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Too close (again)

21 February , 2021

I swear there are good things happening too, and by hook or by crook I think my next post needs to be a bit sunny side up for a change…

So our Martha, who has been working here for about 10 years, needed to get home in a hurry last week. Her daughter went missing. If it was any other kid, you might be tempted to think it was a case of when the cat’s away the mice will play, but definitely not Perseverance.

Her mom couldn’t have named her better if she met her before birth. This girl is a HARD worker. She earned a scholarship for high school based on her academic performance, and she was due to start there in the boarding school two days after she went missing. She had been packing and repacking her bag and she was extremely excited to start her new adventure!

And then she disappeared.

It’s a six hour journey for her mom to get home, and she was still two hours away when she let us know Perseverance had been found…and something not to be taken for granted here…she was still alive!

There are a lot of detail that followed as the story unfolded, but the long and short of it is more or less:

– Four girls were walking together when they got snatched, two got away somehow
– The other two were taken to a house by 3 men and a woman, where they were drugged
– These thugs had a name list of girls they were meant to get, and before the girls lost consciousness they heard them fighting because they were apparently too young for the list (13 instead of 17)

– The woman then pretended to find them unconscious in a field and took them to the police station, who in turn took them to a local doctor
– They took daaays before they were fully awake again, they can’t stop crying and are both receiving trauma counseling

– The culprits have been caught, and the woman apparently feels it’s a bit unfair that she is being held since the girls were returned after all. Wow! Really?!

– Oh, and she managed to shake the parents down for R3000 medical expenses that she apparently put through on her medical aid somehow…mmm, I feel like there might be more details that will come to light here? 🤔

– The female officer taking Perseverance’s statement said to her, “You are so cute! If you were younger I would have stolen you myself!”. I mean, there is NO appropriate time to say something like that, but I think this might have been the LEAST appropriate time of all. What the actual fuck.

Martha looks like she’s aged 10 years in a week, and Perseverance will start school tomorrow and continue to receive councelling through the social worker. She hasn’t lost a week though, she’s lost her innocence and confidence, and the sparkle in her eyes. And that is really a lot harder to get back than a week of school work.

One moment can really change everything…

If there is any justice in this world, those assholes will never see freedom again. If they do get out and go back to that area somehow, there is a lynch mob waiting for them…and honestly, I don’t blame them one little bit.

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Protected: A tiny wallow

12 February , 2021

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Roughed up

10 January , 2021

I can’t sleep. It’s been quite an evening, and my stomach is in knots.

My father in law phoned us to ask for help. His space cadette neighbour beat him up and kicked him all over the kitchen. This wasn’t the first time. So you can imagine, my husband was seeing red by the time we got there. I actually went with the exclusive purpose of trying to keep him calm and if possible wrapping this up before curfew.

Long story short…we called the police and nothing happened. The guy knows them. They said my FIL must go to the doctor tomorrow, and only after that he can lay a charge. And then they left. Okay bye old man who was just allegedly brutally assaulted and WannaBe-Viking neighbour who’s clearly as high as a kite and allegedly aggro to boot. May the force be with you…but not the actual police force. Clearly assault gets taken very “seriously” around here, what an absolute tragedy/travesty.

This muppet was on his best behaviour while they were there, and the moment they left he became quite threatening to all of us. It was obvious that he recons he’s untouchable, and even though he called us all sorts of names (really, all sorts) I went with my gut feel that I was the only one there he didn’t actually reeeeally want to hit. I think being a woman gave me a bit of an advantage there…he was obviously squaring up for a fight, but he wanted to hit or be hit by one of the men. Hard to not look like a shit when you hit a woman. Although beating up an old man is not much better, and that didn’t seem to bug him.

(But guy, you don’t know me, I’m not a classical damsel in distress. I CAN defend myself, and if you lay as much as a finger on me, I’d actually be the least of your worries and I’m pretty fierce even on my own.)

So I kept stepping in between him and my husband and FIL and telling him to back off. I’d say the last five minutes it could have gone either way, he was getting more aggressive and frustrated by the minute. I can speculate why, but so be it. We weren’t giving him what he wanted (I’m taking credit for this restraint by the way, everyone was keen to rumble. Side note: If I am ever the voice of reason, things are really not looking great). What we did do however was take a video of him threatening us all, haha…we’ll see how untouchable you are tomorrow, punk.

We couldn’t leave Andy’s dad there obviously, so we took him with us and made it home with minutes to spare before curfew. Tomorrow we’ll take him for the medical exam and to open a case. And very likely at a different police station that the one where the neighbour seems to know everyone. He’s not untouchable, despite what he seems to think.

And tomorrow we’ll also start arranging for Andy’s dad to go to Germany too. Whether he wants to or not. Too often we hear from him that he’s been mugged, or run over by a car or assaulted by this neighbour, or fell in an open manhole. It never ends, and I for one have had it now. He’s got family there and they’re all begging him to come live with them, but for some reason he wants to wait till we go and come to us. Andy and his dad are only barely on speaking terms as it is, and after almost three years together he still calls me sweetie cause he doesn’t know my name. Andy made it very clear that’s not happening. Ever. So he needs to take the options available to him and go somewhere where it’s safer for him.

I’m emotionally exhausted after this whole Jerry Springer-ish drama, but simultaneously so pumped with adrenaline that I can’t actually sleep. So I’m replaying events over and over in my head, and drowning my sorrows in numerous cups of Rooibos.

What. A. Day.

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In the strangest year of all (so far), you turned 11

19 December , 2020

Dear Nicola,

What a freakin upside down year this has been?! It has been hard on all of us, but it has been especially hard on you.

And even though other people sometimes refer to you as my mini me, there has never been a time before where it has been more obvious that you are definitely your own little person…well, not that little anymore, but definitely your own.

I really don’t think I was the best mom for you in this bewildering past year, and not for lack of trying. My need for peace and quiet, and your need for connection and chaos were in direct opposition. We both tried our best, and that’s all there us to it now I guess.

As long as you know, no matter what, I love you unconditionally. I am proud to the point of bursting at how you take on life, even if it’s not the way I would do it. Actually, even more so then. Always keep being true to yourself, you’re amazing!

So…to my loud, kind hearted, moody, hilarious, always hungry, fiercely loyal, curious and amazing daughter…Happy Birthday! I hope that the next year will bring you adventure and delight beyond your wildest imaginings, and peace and contentment…and maybe some balance between two.

Lots of love xxx♥️
Mom-ster 😉

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Lockdown continues

2 September , 2020

It has been what feels like a million days. Currently we’re in Level 2…whatever that implies.

So I think the last time I posted, I had just started working shifts from home in customer support? Okay, so that didn’t work out. Not because the work was hard…it wasn’t…but the night shifts were killing me. It turns out I’m not 20 anymore, haha. Even on days where I wasn’t working I was like a zombie. So I decided it wasn’t for me and let it go. Surprisingly I did actually learn quite a bit from the experience, and not just that I need more than 2 hours sleep a night. So I am grateful for that.

Ah yes, I think I also told you about my looming Frankenboob situation? I bailed in that too. My reasoning was that the last time it took roughly 2 years to come back (one), that I didn’t think it was a great time to be in hospital with all the Corona things going on (two), and that when I do need something removed from my breast I’d like to shop around for a surgeon that would be most likely to put what’s left of it back together in an asthetically pleasing way (three). See, sound reasons.

As it turned out, it didn’t take 2 years to come back this time. It took 2 weeks. Grrr…anyhoo, I am home remedying it with cannabis oil, and it’s working pretty well. Every day the lump is getting smaller and less angry looking, and after about a week of applying the oil topically I am happy to say I now also have zero pain there.

I did briefly consider taking before and after photos of the progress, but I really don’t see myself sharing those so I decided against it. 😂

We’ve been running a stall at the green markets whenever we could, and let me tell you, business is booming! We’re making a CBD oil for people and one for pets, THC topical cream and balm and bathbombs. It really gives you the warm and fuzzies when you get feedback on how much the products have helped people. I am going to miss doing this when we leave.

On the home, or home school front I will say this. Lockdown learning has not been great for my relationship with Nicola. We have VERY different styles of learning and skirmishes are brutal! We considered sending her back to school (or every second day school as is the norm in Level 2), when her school had two weeks of no infections. We decided if they get to three weeks we’d do it, despite her higher risk. Well, week three they had 2 new infections, so we start counting again I guess.

We are all super frustrated with the status quo, so keep your fingers crossed. The weekly updates come through on a Thursday.

Also wish us all a bit of extra luck in the next week, because I think it might be time to quit smoking again. Andy has moved over to vape (not healthier but a lot cheaper). There’s no way I’m doing that. So it’s quit for me. I didn’t want to do it while it was forbidden (you’re not the boss of me, haha), but I think it will be a good idea to do before I start paying for smokes in Euros. I have done it twice before, so I know I can…but I remember it being pretty traumatic so I’m dreading it for myself and everyone who is trapped in lockdown with me. There is nowhere to hide…for any of us.

Oh well, lets see how it goes…

Ps! Quitely I also turned 42 a few weeks ago. It’s a significant number to me, because I’m a Douglas Adams fan. Lots happening in this year, at least some of I anticipated. Let’s hope for answers to life, the universe and everything, right? 😉