Archive for the ‘Pfffft’ Category

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Finding my feet…and foot

28 November , 2018

Now THERE are some words of wisdom! Remember this one kids. It’s so true…

These two, thick as thieves and getting more so every day. I just love watching them together.

I can’t remember if I mentioned it in my last post, but Nicola has blossomed into a full on Daddy’s girl…guess she was just waiting for the right father figure.

It’s “a bit” of an adjustment not being my pink terrorist’s favourite parent anymore,or at the time being anyway. Haha, I’m not complaining, mind you…just adjusting. Can’t really want to be a two parent house and still have a single parent mindset, can I? What makes it infinitely easier than my previous attempt at white-picket-fenceness is that Andy is just as attached and invested in Nicola as she is in him.

Lots of love all round…

Look at our beautiful Hibiscus. Definitely summer now. I wish I had leave and some cash, I could totally pretend to be a beach bum for a week or two.

This has been one hell of a year…

Where we stay now our stove is a gas situation. As luck would have it, and as we’ve sort of expected would happen for some time now, the gas ran out right in the middle of dinner prep one night.

We Mcguyvered it with a little impromptu braai! Not so secretly, I think we were all thrilled. It was a nice change, and Andy’s been dying to try out the braai for ages.

Of course at a braai, even a McGuyver one, you can have a little drink. Only thing is my wine glasses are still in storage, so I had it in a cooldrink glass. Andy giggled at me about my choice of receptacle until I pointed out that he was having a beer out of a flower pot, haha! (Not really, it’s a German Beer mug made of pottery – but it really looks like a flower pot).

A good time was had by all… 😀

My happy…

We’re using these camp T-shirts as pajamas, and the stars aligned one night and we all had them on at the same time. So Nicola called for a selfie.

Some lovely words on Time that I spotted at the Slow Lounge in Sandton.

I have a proper boo-boo.

You may or may not remember that I broke this bloody foot a few years ago? Well it’s been fine since then, and then all of a sardine it felt like I had a bone sticking out under the skin. You can sort of see the knob on this photo, below the pinky toe halfway between the toe and the heel. And it is sore! Look at my poor puffer foot!

I would have probably left it, but the pain became a bit unbearable so I dragged my sorry self off to the doctor for X-rays and a diagnosis.

Good news…sort of…it’s not a bone sticking out.

It’s something called Capsulitus, which is apparently quite common although I have never heard of it before. There’s a membrane around the bones, especially in joints, filled with liquid that helps movement, and when you spring a leak this is what happens (amongst other things, seriously don’t google this, it’s gross!). So in a nutshell, I’m leaking hydraulic liquid and it’s causing this hard bone like thing to stab me, and a fair amount of pain and inflammation.

I have been stabbed in the but with anti-inflammatory and cortisone, and I got a script for more of the same (I would have had the tablets by now, but the current medical aid and I are having some artistic differences around my day-to-day cover now that I’ve given them notice that I plan to move to another medical aid – so I’ll go get the meds after pay day).

The long and the short (and the puffy) of it is that this treatment has a not so spectacular 20% chance of sorting out my issue, and in the likely event that it does not I will have to go for a small operation on my foot to sort it out.

Good times…Maryna reminded me that should this end up needing an operation she would pray for the safety of those around me. I get very aggressive from anesthesia. Hahaha, I almost forgot about that! *Note to self* Remind them again that it would probably be best to strap me down while I’m asleep, they won’t be able to once I wake up, and I don’t want to hurt anyone or rip my stitches.

In case you just thought I had canckles in general, here are some reference shots of what my feet usually look like when I’m not leaking vital fluids into odd bone-like bubbles.

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Eep! I almost died…

19 November , 2018

Of fright!

If you know me, you know that I am not scared of spiders. I am terrified of them!

So just imagine how traumatic it was for me when I was putting out fresh towels yesterday, and one leaped out of my towel and ran up my arm. I almost shat myself.

As it is, I screamed in a fashion that not even I knew I had the vocal range for. Towels went flying everywhere and I did that weird karate-breakdance-run out of the bathroom. Everyone came running cause they thought there was an intruder or I was under attack.

I was under attack…and if it was an intruder I wouldn’t have screamed…I would have punched them in the face.

Still not over it. Bloody traumatic!

Other than something bad happening to my people, this was my worst nightmare!

And to think, it must have been lurking in our linen closet for at least 2 weeks. Waiting to pounce! I feel so violated! Hahaha. No really…

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Oh Mammy…

27 September , 2018

Found a lump yesterday…booked for a squashing on the 3rd of October.

Not overly excited about this. Keep you fingers crossed for me please, or if it’s your thing pray.

I am low level FREAKING out!

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Let me catch you up…

11 September , 2018

What a month!

I have had the best time ever. Seriously, so many changes in such a short time – but all of them good, so complaints from me.

Firstly, on the work front I have done something that I have never done before. Applied for positions while still employed, hahaha! Every single job I have ever started has been as either a temp or a contractor and then they decided to keep me. So a big first for me. I am starting in my new position in October, and I am very excited about it.

Secondly, on the home front we have moved in with Andy. We all moved into his garden cottage, so it is TIGHT…or if you’re being generous it is cosey, but it is filled to the brim with love and laughs and all three of us are doing great with the new living arrangements. The plan is to look into a bigger place early next year.

That’s the major highlights in a nutshell…now for some of my favourite pictures over the last month.

Cuddle puddle at a visit to my cousin…

Nicola, trying her hand at Sims on an old built up computer…

 

Lets just say I didn’t miss my calling as a dog groomer…Polka, sporting a seriously layered look. I was tired of sorting out “passengers” out of her winter woolies. Every second day the seasons seem to change their mind around here, so I haven’t taken her to the parlour yet for her serious spring shave. Interim haircut…check!

Birthday party for my old boarding school roommate…

Hahaha, definitely my baby…

Lofty and I…love you buddy!

This is my daughter who does not like hugging people! She has decided Andy belongs to her too. These two, just make my heart mush to see them together.

So serious…

Look, I was also there! Birthday party for my friend Fluffbunny…

New bed bought selfie… 😉

The school’s box car day…

More fun at the box car day. They had water slides for the kids too, if you were a bit confused about the swim suit.

My dad after his serious spring shave…he had received a few enquiries for Christmas bookings at this point already, hahaha!

Moving day…it’s a jungle out there! Just part of my portable garden. I still actually have 3 or 4 pots to move.

Our office…

So cute…I love this!

Nicola has really blossomed. Without prompting she washes dishes, makes coffee (first time ever and it was STRONG as she decided two spoons coffee was the way to go!). It makes me really happy to see her gaining self confidence to do things herself, even when she doesn’t get it 100% first time every time.

This kid is a speed reader! She grabbed one of my Harry Potter books off the bookshelf and half an hour later she was about 80 pages deep into it.

We have a mother-trucking HUGE bee hive in the roof! I stepped on one. My poor toe looked like a little sausage for two days. If all goes according to plan they will relocate them this week. If all works out to desire, we will get some honey out of this in the process too…yumm!

On our way to a meeting…

Me and my Bfly, after the meeting…

Some selfies with a few of my amazing team members. These guys…I’m really going to miss them.

Nicola is man down with some bacterial airway infection. She has more or less been asleep and at 40’C for three days now. Poor baby, wish I could take it on on her behalf.

I had a rip roaring scuffle with the bloody medical aid about the meds the doctor prescribed on Monday. I pay R4223 per month for us to be on medical aid, and they won’t bloody pay for the cough syrup because it has cortisone in it, and the spectacular co-payments because I won’t be painted into a generic corner was also ridiculous. I have money available in my day-to-day benefits…thousand…and they won’t pay. Assholes. I let them have it!

Not fucking impressed. I am now in the market for a proper medical aid for next year. Suggestions welcome.

Truly, it was a super blue Monday. Sick Nicola, and then my car’s battery decided to unceremoniously die. Grrr…

My hibiscus plant flashing me hearts last night. It obviously saw I needed a little pick me up.

How are you all doing?

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Protected: Bad apples

30 July , 2018

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Mine

10 July , 2018

These two are getting on like a house on fire now, and I couldn’t be happier.

When I see my daughter relax and trust someone, let them in instead of maintaining a cautious distance for a change, it does my heart good. I think 8 is too young to be jaded about people’s intentions, and I hate to think that I might be the cause of that inherent distrust.

So this is my Nicola and my Andy, or Andreas as he is not known. I am so happy I could burst. 😀

He seems to get on well with most of my family too, except my mom. I’m sure she’ll come around in time, if Nicola got her inherent distrust from anyone it’s probably my mom and not me. If you know my kid at all, you’ll know that once she’s decided that she likes and trusts you, that you’re part of “her people” she’ll go to war for you without hesitation. Her fierce loyalty is really quite remarkable and awe inspiring when you see it in action.

On Sunday she went to war for Andy.

My mom was giving me a hard time about him, and out nowhere Nicola piped up, “Ouma, don’t you want my mom to be happy? Andy makes her happy…and he’s nice.” I don’t know who was more surprised, me or my mom.

It’s been super awkward around here since then as you can probably imagine. I hate living with this atmosphere hanging over everything. I really hope that things smooth over soon, I’m running out of beta blockers and I’d really like to stay calm.

I may have mentioned it once or twice before in other posts. I’m almost 40 years old, how the hell did I end up in a position where people think that they can still make my decisions for me, and treat me like a child?! Weigh in if you must, but don’t be a jerk about it. I too have lots of opinions about how other people should live their lives, but I keep those to myself because it’s not my decision to make.

It’ll work out in the end, I’m sure. One way or another. Wish me luck guys.

Did you ever have something similar happen to you, and how did you handle it?

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Things are not always what they appear to be

2 July , 2018

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Ever wear a mask, or hide behind a lie? Sure you have – I’m pretty sure everyone has at some point or another.

One of mine, so old that I haven’t even thought about it in soooo many years, popped up over the weekend. It was time to set the record straight I guess.

See, many moons ago…pre-Nicola obviously (you’ll see why this is obvious in a second…just bear with me), my mom was always hounding my brother and I about her desperate need to be a grandmother. On every occasion she got. Everywhere and in front of anyone. Really…non  stop. She used to tell people if she wanted to be a grandmother she would have to have the babies herself!

I used to say that I didn’t want kids.

Which was what my mom decided to share with Andy over the weekend. In front of my kid, who I really definitely wanted and want more than anything else in the world.

The truth is, I always wanted kids. I was pretty sure I couldn’t have kids. I was 100% convinced that I was sterile. Even at my first scan my doctor remarked on the fact that with the thingy I have going on in my plumbing I’m actually supposed to be sterile. I was not surprised. I didn’t know what was wrong, but I definitely knew something was.

It is much easier to say you don’t want kids than to say you can’t have kids. It makes you seem too-busy-for-this-shit instead of too-broken-for-this-miracle. If given an option I will always take the judgement of people who don’t actually know over their pity. You get it right? I’m full of shit…not weak.

I was pretty convincing in this lie I think. When I found out I was pregnant with Nicola, only my friend Simone’ knew straight away that I was so thrilled I could explode! In fact her words were, “Fantastic! This is what you always wanted.” where everyone else was, “Shit! How do you feel about it? What are you going to do, keep it or terminate?”

I was so convincing in my lie, that when Nicola was about a year old my mom once told me that I was doing much better at mothering than they ever thought I would, seeing as I didn’t actually ever want kids and that my parents were fully prepared to adopt Nicola and raise her themselves if it became obvious that I was a shit mother.

I am coasting over all of this, in what I hope is a lighthearted fashion…but there is an awful lot of hurt in these few paragraphs above.

Anyway, I couldn’t let Nicola hear that I never wanted kids and even for a second believe that it was true. So I came clean on why I actually said that. Hopefully this thing will now be forever put to bed.

Ps! Nicola, if you ever end up reading this one day and remember that discussion in the car…just know that you truly were a miracle and that I never wanted anyone or anything as much as I wanted you. Ever. You were a dream come true, and there has not been a single day since I threw up with morning sickness for the very first time that I have not been thrilled and thankful to have you in my life. Not even a single one.