Archive for the ‘humour’ Category

h1

The frogs

8 June , 2018

Interesting head space I find myself in this week…(interesting is code for terrible if you didn’t get it).

Truth be told I’m feeling very off kilter, and I’m reacting more than acting. It’s shit, I hate it, and I don’t plan on keeping myself in this limbo for long.

So after the navel gazing (now password protected) post from last week, I’m sort of better this week. If you can call head limbo a better place. Maybe by next week I’ll be fighting fit again (as a side note, I am actually considering taking up proper boxing for some tension relief).

Right, where to start…

I recreated my profile. I was really conflicted about doing this. As you know, my go-to-move is to go into hiding for 1-7 years, but this time I’m trying to do things differently. I don’t really think I will find “the one” if there really is such a creature in any event, but I figure it’s good for some laughs and maybe meeting a few interesting people along the way.

So far it has definitely been good for some laughs…also some WTF moments. I can’t see why I have to suffer through this alone, so I’m dragging you guys into this with me. Kicking and screaming if I have to.

This is probably as dressy as I’ll ever get. Just putting it out there. It’s been sort of fun to do the dressy bit, but I think it’s just because it’s out of the ordinary for me.

(So yeah, not a princess…)

This was a great cup of coffee, that almost made up for the company I had while drinking it.

(Almost a magic potion…)

I actually popped out to buy make up, and this spoke to me more. 😆

(My sort of glass slipper…)

Brace yourselves

Right…behold my collection of frogs! I’ve covered up everyone’s faces and names to protect the innocent and the not so innocent. I’m sure there are lots of people who could say really unflattering things about me too (they’ll have to do it on their own blogs though, this one is mine).

I’m just going to stick to the basics. I don’t actually have to explain much. You’ll see why…

This man has not given up on this just because of that little niggle though. He almost religiously keeps sending me messages every day.

A very serious pity about me having to cover up the face…the blue eyes on this one actually needs to come with a licence.

Unless the earth suddenly collapses in on itself and South Africa and Turkey end up neighbours, this isn’t going anywhere but odd penpals.

Also, very suspicious about why this isn’t an apparent problem for him.

(In a land far, far away…)

Uhuh… as you may have guessed, he really wanted the conversation to move over to whatsapp or any platform where he could send photos. Not for me, thanks though.

I hope he finds the audience he’s looking for.

(A magic wand?)

He wasn’t wrong. I made a typo. *gasp*

I don’t know. I just felt a bit under the spotlight after that, and kept re-reading my messages before sending them. The pressure was insane! Mwahaha.

It just took all the fun out of it really.

(I got nothing here…this one just made me feel stupid)

Met this one in person.

He had obviously been talking to numerous people, and he just couldn’t keep his info straight anymore. He kept asking me questions that he’s already asked me before. It really pissed me off actually. I got a bit short in my responses.

I wasn’t what he was expecting either, I gather.

I’m okay with that.

(Gaston-ish)

Chatting was marvelous with him. And he has a voice that can melt butter, seriously.

I wouldn’t mind seeing him again, but I’m not his cup of tea. He’s looking for someone short. He wants to date a pixie.

I am many things to many people, but I am definitely not short. Or a pixie.

(Peter pan?)

Observations

  • I am coming into this business way too emotional I think, I’m going to slow down and do some hard thinking.
  • The chatting, even the bad chatting, is good and I’m enjoying it, but the moment I meet anyone in person I throw up walls like someone triggered all the booby traps in my tomb – I think there’s a message in that for me
  • I am pretending to be more girly-girl than I actually am. Why the actual fuck am I doing that?! I can’t decide if it’s that I want to just be a bit fabulous, instead of a bit strong…or if I think people will react better to this side of me than the one I usually present. Could be a bit of both I guess?
  • A very very long time ago…during sales training… this one genius told me that customers will always ask the same question, and it will always be the one you can’t answer. It’s because they hear it in your voice, they know where to find the uncertain part and they zoom in on it like heat seeking missiles. Once you can answer that question, no one will ever ask you to answer it again. Frogs are also like this I think. They know – somehow, they just know.
  • So far, the biggest thing I’m getting from this is a unique glimpse at myself and what makes me tick. It is not an altogether pleasant experience.
Advertisements
h1

The rules…

15 September , 2017

So…online dating…hahaha. Very interesting!

I thought it might be a good time to discuss dating in general with Nicola and see what she thinks about it. And more specifically what does she think about me dating.

So I asked her if she was okay with the idea of me dating, and occasionally staying with my folks while I go meet someone, as I might need to see a few guys before I found one I liked. Saturday morning to start with as I’ve been invited for breakfast.

She’s cool with it but she has two conditions:

  1. I have to take a selfie with him…because she says that if we look at the photo and he’s not in it we’ll know he’s a vampire!
  2. If he asks me to marry him, I have to say no.

Mwahaha…good to know that she thinks I am so irrisistable that any guy will ask me to be his wife the first time he lays eyes on me!

I said don’t worry. We don’t even know each other. He’s not going to ask. 

She said, even if he tells you EVERYTHING about himself on Saturday, you must still say no. I don’t want to move, it’s my friend’s birthday party in the afternoon. Hahaha! Things are fast paced in the world of Nicola.

Okay. I think I can agree to that.

I promised not to agree to marry anyone she hasn’t met and liked. And I won’t introduce her to any vampires.

h1

Share things you have pinned that you want to try before the end of the year

5 June , 2016

Right.

I think you’ve seen quite a few of my pins already, so I’ll show you a few I’m trying and have tried for today’s family lunch.

I should just point out that baking isn’t really my thing. When I do it, it’s a labour of love…and I expect people to eat it and enjoy it regardless of how it looks. 😉
First up – Rasberry Chocholate Tart

image

Nailed it! Hahaha! (I was telling Nicola I don’t know how they get their rasberries to behave like that and she said, mom you only need 4 things…concentration, concentration, concentration and concentration).

image

Seconly, a Pear and Almond Tart.

image

Now mine…(someone used up all the foil between me seeing it, and me needing it. So I Macguyvered it used another pie dish to weigh it down with the poor beans, and it worked I guess, but it ripped a side off when I removed it. Soldier on I say!).

image

And my pears got halfway swallowed by the filling…

For my last trick I’m going to try these:

image

I don’t see how this could go wrong. They are meant to look lumpy. I’m pretty sure I can pull that look off.