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A line in the dirt…and other than that, thankfully, a pretty quiet weekend

28 July , 2014

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Nicola, wearing her silly hat to school on Friday. Please pay attention to this pink top – it’s going to come up again a bit later in this post.

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At secret place we have this Learn & Grow KPI this year, and as part of that each team member gets a chance or two to bring in guest speaker to our team meetings.

Well, I’ll have you know I’ve really taken this thing and run with it. I stole someone else’s turn in May (who didn’t plan on using it anyway), and I annexed another in June from a colleague who had resigned, and this month it was actually my own turn and I asked Marcia to come in and do a talk for us about love languages in the work place – which she kindly agreed to do.

Marcia, of course, did great and everybody enjoyed it. I have managed to wow my team, thanks for making me look good! πŸ˜‰

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This bit isn’t about the flower…this is one of the flowers in a bunch we bought for my mom over the weekend – just because. πŸ™‚

Let me set the scene: Friday night. It was a “bit” cold, don’t know if you noticed? My daughter was a “bit” sick, I’m sure I’ve mentioned it?

Well, when we left my parents’ place on Friday night, I insisted that Nicola wear the pink top in the first picture (that she had only taken off to eat dinner because apparently it’s not comfortable to eat with it on), and all HELL BROKE LOOSE!

A two hour long tantrum about this blasted top kicked off, and neither one of us was going to back down. We went beyond the point where it was about the top, beyond the point where the whole neighbourhood’s dogs started barking because she was screaming so loudly, beyond the point where people started peeping through their windows to see if there was blood to go with that amount of noise…way beyond the point of reason or return. A line was drawn in the dirt and there was a spectacular show down to see on what side of it we would end up at the end of the argument.

It was a battle of wills, and although I do not endorse her cause or method – I have to say, the girl’s got stamina! πŸ˜‰ In the end she went so hysterical that I had to hold her for a long time while kicking and screaming (her, not me), just so that she could calm the heck down enough for us to go home (with the top on…when you set a boundary, you kind of have to stick it out till the end). It was a very surprising reaction for the matter at hand, and let me tell you that she is bloody mean when she’s fighting…so I was crying for quite a large part of it.

This was seriously not how I had hoped my weekend would kick off, especially after the week I’ve just been through – which is probably exactly why it happened.Β  I’m not trying to make excuses for bad manners, but in her defence she was sick, at the mercy of meds and their side effects, probably sensed that I was distracted all week and emotional, tired…and not used to a lot of no (my fault that one). It was like a perfect storm, emotionally speaking.

I’ve already talked to her (after she calmed down enough to breathe and listen again) about all the ugly things she said on Friday night, and now I’m just going to go ahead and be the grown up…and let it go like it never happened.

On Saturday, I slept and slept and slept. I had a fuckitall moment and decided that getting up at 4:00am might be my usual thing, but I just wasn’t feeling it. Eventually Nicola jumped on me and nagged till I got up, some time after 8:00am. We did our monthly grocery run at about 10-ish, and I felt like I wasΒ stuck in molasses the whole way through. I had a pretty much disengaged day…but thankfully after a fair bit of sleep I felt more like myself again on Sunday.

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Fun with Oupa…Nicola and my dad taking down the salami and cabanossi.

Nicola was at the same time also busy baking cookies with Ouma, or should I say she delegated her cookies with Ouma bit to me and my mom. πŸ˜‰

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Polka snuggling up to Nicola this morning – neither of them wanted to get up. I didn’t either, but oh well – you know – Monday and all that. To my great entertainment Nicola has started signing something to me that I sometimes play for her in the car, “You can’t always get what you want…but if you try sometimes…you might find…you get what you nee-eed.” Hahaha! Indeed. So true. Β 

This morning when I finally convinced her to open her eyes and get going she gets up to get dressed and says to me, “Mamma, jy maak my regtig gatvol as jy altyd wil he^ ek moet opstaan.” Alrighty, I guess she’s definitely not a morning person then? (I struggled to keep a straight face when she said it, I seriously did).

*sigh*

I am tired…and so over winter…I am sure my mood will drastically improve once spring arrives, and no doubt everything and everyone around me will seem so much more pleasant then too? (If this is in fact not the case, please don’t ruin the surprise).

Do your kids also go through phases where they seem particularly difficult? Is it usually when you’re facing some other emotional upheaval and it’s like they sense it’s a great time to pounce because you’re weak and tired?

35 Days till spring day – just so you know. πŸ˜‰

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18 comments

  1. Sounds to me like a clash of wills when both of you were not at your best… but it all turned out for the best … yep I can’t wait for this spring… gatvol for winter, cold weather and dust that seems to increase this time of the year making me clean my car far too many times….


    • You’re very good, washing your car and all that – I prefer to think of it as a protective layer of dirt. πŸ˜‰


  2. This is a prime example of the joys of motherhood. The only advice I have for you (raising four children makes you humble) is to choose your fights well, but to always be consistent.


    • That is really good advice…


  3. Battle of wills! She definitely is your child! But good you let know who the boss is after all, she probably sensed you were a bit off and wouldn’t have the strength for battle πŸ™‚

    Hope she is feeling better though and you didn’t get infected?

    Nice, the secret place crew enjoyed Marcia’s talk


    • Oh I am under no illusions that I’ve won…she’s probably just regrouping with a new angle to take me on with again. I’m okay with that, this is part of raising a child to question everything I guess, they get to practice that skill on you! πŸ˜‰

      So far *touches wood* I appear to be sitting this round of flu out. Please keep your fingers crossed that I’m right.


  4. I LOVE THE WAY you’re counting down to spring like it’s a holiday πŸ™‚ I’m sure the whole country will be a lot more pleasant soon.

    My friend, I think it’s the 4.5 year disequilibrium….. love that you fight til the bitter end stick to your guns. 2 hours is impressive!

    I loved seeing you in your environment!!!! I need to email you a few links too.


    • I’m strongly considering declaring August pre-Spring just to be done with winter, but I’m kind of a stickler for the 1st of September thing – so I probably won’t. I do actually have a count down calendar on my desk. πŸ˜‰

      Have I mentioned how much I love spring…love, love, love it.

      I clean forgot about that disequalibtrium post you did. You might be on to something Marcia, thanks.

      Was it more or less what you expected?


  5. YOH! Those tantrums! EPIC. Kiara used to have them! AND it appears she is starting with them again – obviously no kicking and screaming but extended sulks and rubbish attitude :-/

    This too shall pass (and then come back again) :))


    • Hahaha, thanks…I suspected it might. πŸ˜‰


  6. You have to stick to your guns and run out those tantrums – in the long run it pays 100 times. And yes, they sense your weekness – of that I am very sure.

    Sleep a few hours more and get some rest. Lots of love


    • Thanks cat. I’m about to post the next instalment, which went a lot better and took a lot less time. I think I’m onto a winning recipe of sorts now…hopefully…the stick-to-ed-ness of guns once selected is VERY important, otherwise nothing you say after that holds any weight again.


  7. Kinders is bliksems. My dogter is al 27 en soms het ek en sy steeds lekker skree sessies. Maar ons maak altyd weer op daarna πŸ™‚ It comes with the territory as mens jou kind selfstandig grootmaak. Sterkte met die tienerjare! πŸ˜‰


    • Dankie Son, ek stem saam – ek is in pyn met die storie, maar aan die pluskant is ek verlig dat my kind NIE ‘n pushover is nie. En sy aard eintlik heeltemal na my in daai opsig, ek was self stroomop gebore, dis nie altyd maklik nie – maar hell what a ride! πŸ˜‰


  8. oh I feel for you with the tantrum. We have toddler tantrums here. He loves to lie on the floor and cry. I try to mostly pick him up but sometimes I just leave him!


      1. Heather, the holding bit really helps. My friend Denise calls it time in. Sometimes it’s better to walk…no one likes arguing with themselves. πŸ˜‰

  9. LOL! Daardie dogtertjie van jou het ‘n baie sterk persoonlikheid…ek wonder na wie aard sy πŸ˜‰ Stefan is nou al die koning van “tantrums” en ek het al geleer om dit te ignoreer.


    • Oh hahaha, ek wonder nie eers ‘n bietjie nie! πŸ˜€ Alhoewel ek moet se^ haar pa is ook lekker hardkoppig, so miskien het sy dit eksponensieel?



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