Cluedo21 August , 2012
Firstly let me tell you about the arm. I left early yesterday and went to see the doctor. Good news: It’s not a heart attack😉 it’s a muscle injury which he said he could treat and fix fairly easily. Hehehe…I almost accidentally punched the doctor in a reflex reaction. You know how they will twist and turn things and press here and there while asking you if this is sensitive? How about when I do that? Well, he found one that was a bit more than uncomfortable and before I had even thought about what I was doing, I had my not lame and sore arm up and my hand in a fist (while screaming eina fooooook!) he dropped it in a hurry and offered me injections to make it all better.
I actually have no idea what he gave me, all I know is that there were four things in it, it exhausted what was left of my medical aid and then some, I got one in the cheek and one in the arm, and by the time I got to my car in the parking lot my pain was gone. Money well spent I reckon.😉
Now, onto to the current Nicola mistery. Thanks for all the comments yesterday, especially MeeA who had a lot of words of wisdom to consider. Just after I hit post on yesterday’s story, I phoned the school for an update. The teacher said that they had tried to split them but that the girls were having NONE of it, so they were just standing guard closeby to see what the heck was going on. Nicola, L and D were playing peacefully all day long without a single incident, and yet when I got to the school Nicola wasted no time in telling me that L had hurt her again. I watched CCTV footage, no signs of foul play at all.
Mmmm…the plot thickens.
So, I got to thinking about what the reason might be for all these tall tales and I came up with a theory which makes me the bad guy. I am very comfortable with those kinds of scinarios because then there is usually at least SOMETHING that I can do to change things and make it better.
If Nicola doesn’t want to go to school but it’s not because of something she’s trying to avoid there, could she be trying to dodge school because she’s actually trying to spend more time with me? Look, we spend almost every non working moment together as it is – but perhaps it’s not the kind of time she’s looking for?
You know how it goes when you’re a parent, or as in my case a single parent. The work is just never done. Never. Ever. So if you look at a typical night for us this is what happens: We get home. Nicola wants to play, I get her started on something and then go load some washing in the machine. While that’s going I start cooking a quick dinner for us. Fold some laundry, tidy up a bit, water the garden, answer some emails. Nicola wants to go watch a movie, I put one on. Nicola wants to help cooking, if I can’t find something blunt and cool for her to look busy with I try and distract her with something non-cooking related. We sit down to dinner. After dinner I go get the laundry and put it in the dryer. Nicola moans at me for leaving the house to do that. I go have a smoke and attampt 5 minutes of absolute silence. I run a bath for Nicola, who runs around trying to avoid it. Bath happens anyway, sometimes there is acceptance, sometimes there isn’t. Then I dress her in pajamas, put on a animated and go have a bath myself. After bath I go wash the dished and clean the kitchen. Eventually I get to bed for some snuggle time with Nicola, who at this point feels more like jumping on the bed than snuggles. Eventually the chaos settles down, with or without arguments, ultimatums and tears (both of us sometimes). And then we sleep.
So last night I decided to switch things up and test my theory. Keep in mind that I can’t afford to do what I did last night every night, but it might be worth looking into as a more regular thing at least. I didn’t do laundry. I didn’t cook. I didn’t clean. I did nothing on my had to do list at all. I didn’t even read emails. I picked Nicola up (with a busted shoulder), we went to KFC and got chicken and coleslaw. After dinner we did some finger painting. We washed up together even though most of the bathroom is now covered in a faint red splatter from someone’s vigorous nail brush action.😉 (I had a blank canvas which I had in mind for a project, but I decided that we’ll finger pain the hell out of it and it could make a lovely background for what I have in mind. Plus Nicola is having some issues regarding colouring in the lines and I thought she could do with a break from all of that performance anxiety).
It was messy…like in seriously MESSY. It was relaxing. And it was fun! Best of all, it worked like a charm. NO arguments about bath. NO arguments about bed time. NO arguments about getting up. NO arguments about getting dressed. NO arguments about going to school. (also no actual work done and I got up at 04:00 to cath up, but I will work out a way of making it all fit and fun at the same time…somehow).
I guess I owe L and apology. It turns out that I’m the asshole and not her.