The 1-20 game, 7 things tag and a few other bits and pieces…

I swear I had every intension of writing this week but it just kind of got away from me, so here I sit on a lovely peaceful Sunday again playing catch-up and not knowing quite where to begin.

I think I’ll start with the 7 things tag and get that taken care of? Rox tagged me to the 7 interesting things about me post. So here goes:

1. I am an eternal optimist. There I said it… Even when things go really really bad I usually find something to laugh at or make a joke about, and inherently I do believe that everything will not only be fine, but will in fact turn out great.
2. With a few exceptions I don’t trust people who don’t eat bacon. (How can you not like bacon?!). I realise and respect that some people give it up based of religion and maybe due to a moral obligation they feel - but on my scales that tips the balance not-in-your-favour and you then have to actually do something pretty special to make me believe that you can be trusted.
3. Not sure if you know this, but when you feel threatened it’s natural that your adrenaline kicks in and you experience stress and get in touch with your fight or flight instinct? Well, mine is always set on fight. So if we ever go somewhere together and someone tries to rob us or high-jack us you needn’t waste time wondering what my reaction will be. I’ll come out swinging or die trying - be prepared, I know I am.
4. I absolutely detest carnations. They remind me of death and funerals. Any other flower is okay by me. An ex once sent me a bouquet of spring flowers that consisted mostly of carnations and even though I couldn’t get myself to just trash them I refused to water them. The nicest “flowers” I ever got, or the most memorable anyway, was once when someone dedicated a palm tree to me that was planted in the mall where we went to see a movie (potted palm closest to Mr. Price and Boardmans in Northgate I still consider to be mine) and the other time was when someone bought a bunch of tiger-lilies for me, took one out and gave it to me and trashed the rest just to make sure that that one was special (to the shock and disbelief of the flower seller - who went to go rescue the others and resell them possibly?).
5. I’m pretty tall - 1.78m. And I’ve been this tall since I was I was 11. In that year I grew 18cm and from thereon I only grew sideways. People always used to think I was older than I really was - and I never got asked for ID anywhere (until I was 28 where it happened for the first time and I couldn’t actually believe it!). When I was about 8 I got mistaken for 12, when I was 16 I got mistaken for 26, and now that I’m knocking on the door of 30 the general feeling is that I look about 25. I’m quite happy with how this is playing out, maybe I’ll be like my gran who hardly even has any grey hair and she’s in her 70s already! That would be awesome.
6. I don’t like watching scary movies - at all. I just don’t do it, even when people tell me that it’s not that scary I still refuse.
7. When I spend some time in the sun my hair goes red(ish), and I have a temper to match. I have about a teaspoon of Scottish blood in my bloodline (mostly German, Dutch and teeny bit of French and Scottish from what I can puzzle together), but sometimes I just kind of think of myself as a closet redhead. You’ll know (or should reasonably suspect) that I am about to unleash all kinds of trouble on you when I start asking questions staring with words like “So, do you mean to say…?”. That means that I am just clarifying issues before I let rip. Be afraid…be very afraid. :-p

I think I may have overdone this tag a bit - anyhoo, there you go: 7 things. I’m not tagging anyone, if you haven’t played them please tag yourself!

Now, about the rest of this week. It’s been crap. Or let me rephrase that perhaps - some parts of it has been particularly unpleasant. The end of it was rather nice though. The UK people who run the company that I work for are making me understand the appeal of the Anglo-Boer-War to be honest, at least we have Sparrow in our corner still or who knows what would have become of us by now. The mood in general has been quite gloomy and negative, and I haven’t exactly been helping matters (for which I apologised to Sparrow because he is trying his best to keep the ship afloat and he doesn’t deserve that). He’s the best boss ever and I swear that when I hit two 7 deal weeks in a row I am taking that man out for the piss-up to end all piss-ups.

Anyway, enough shop talk - there will be plenty to tell about that in the next week or two if I have to wager a guess. I would however like to tell you about the 1 to 20 game, if I may.

The 1 to 20 game is a concept that was first explained to us in our training course to illustrate that there is a process to be followed while doing this job and that you have to start it off right and not miss one single step if you want to win. The game works as follows: There are two players (generally the one teaching - the master, and the poor fool who is being taught and who doesn’t know the rules), the teacher gives the student a chance to start (at 1) and both players get the chance to count in sequence using either one number or two numbers till they get to 20. The aim is to be the one to say 20, that means you win.

You can try this at home if you like but there is only one way to win and that is to start by saying 1, 2…the other player then gets to say 3 or 3, 4. The next important number to hit is 5, so if they said 3, 4 then you say 5, if they said 3 then you say 4, 5. The next one is 8. Then 11, 15, 17 and ultimately 20. It’s a process and you have to hit all the right numbers to get to the prize. You have to know where you’re going to get there.

Why am I telling you this now? Well, Friday night I went dancing with some friends at Guru lounge in Durbanville. I had an absolute blast and only got home Saturday morning just before 3:00am! There was a very good-looking young man who appeared to be hunting me. Good fun. I may have let him catch me too if he had hit all the right numbers, but he missed a few steps of his 1 to 20 game. Tsk-tsk…it’s too bad, because he really is a very good dancer - it would have been fun. He had a deliciously naughty streak and suggested all kinds of things that really appealed to me, but on top of missing a few important steps he also had a nasty B-word habit and I had to resist the urge to draw a big letter B on his forehead at some points of the evening *shrug* oh well… (when I say that I resisted the urge, you may read that to mean that I was looking for a pen already when my friend stopped me distracted me with a shooter).

Going home was a completely different adventure altogether. I was being followed by a red Uno with four drunk hooligans in it and since I live at the end of a cul de sac street I wasn’t going to lead them to my home and hope for the best when we got there, nu-uh! I drove past the police station instead and luckily they decided that they didn’t want to follow me that badly after all.

Other than that my weekend’s been filled with loads of “glamorous” stuff like laundry, washing dishes and taking long well-deserved naps. And getting my head ready for what promises to be an action packed week ahead.

I’m either going to have to write more often or learn to condense my thoughts a bit - this ramble is enormous!

Many happy returns and all that

What a week. (Please excuse my lack of photographic evidence - I’m too lazy to download my phone right now).

The BigBoss showed a bit more of his true colours this past week. It’s kind of weird knowing that you’re being played and somehow being completely unable to do anything about it. It’s a feeling I hate - and I’m having none of that…ever again.

On Tuesday he saw a gap to make an example of me on a matter that I was quite clearly already worked up about and he just moved in for the kill. Very nicely done - smooth and effortless and very public. For the rest of the week I took to wearing a strip of camo round my wrist to remind me that I am a fighter and no one (and I mean NO ONE) gets to bully me like that without my say so.

I was going to call it my “Talisman” -> An object that is thought to have magic powers and to bring good luck. But I think I’ll go with just “Band” -> A thin flat strip or circle of any material that is put around things for example to hold them together or to strengthen them. Yip, that sounds about right…look I know it’s silly but wearing that little strip of camo was just what I needed last week to keep my head in the game.

Last week we also had a little recruitment drive for more members of staff here in our CT branch, and even though we didn’t find any suitable candidates I think there was a very clear message being sent from our selection of possibilities to anyone who might be paying attention. Incidentally we recruited more than 90 hopefuls without even placing an add or anything! All I will say further on this matter is that some of the large and well known companies in SA should be ashamed of what they pay their staff. Do you know that there are people working in CT earning R1600 per month to work from 09:00 to 19:00 five days a week?! Unbelievable…now if only they could pass an mini-IQ test we would have rescued some of them by now.

The good news is: We made it. Sparrow has returned and we saw him and Mrs. Sparrow on Friday when the BigBoss took everyone out for a farewell dinner. It’s unbelievably good to have him back.

We had massive celebrations on Friday - hard to say if it was for the BigBoss’ farewell or for the welcome back of Sparrow. The two themes just merged in one major merry-making chaos. I believe there was more of the same on Saturday, but I opted out so that I could spend some time with my cousin and catch up on some laundry during one of the first sunshine days in the last month.

On Sunday I went to see my aunt Ellen in Durbanville. We went out for Chinese for lunch (which I think possibly made me violently ill today since I’m just not used to it anymore), and later the afternoon we attended an auction for Persian carpets, paintings and antique furniture. My aunt bought a lovely rug for probably a third of it’s market value - from what I could see the other people there got a bit screwed. When I saw a rather dull looking painting being sold for R50 000, I told my aunt to be very very quiet and don’t even breathe hard or who knows what we’ll end up going home with! Yikes…it was interesting but not really my thing.

Last night Alexander and Chere’ returned home after their month away in KZN. It’s fantastic having them back! I can’t believe how much I’ve missed them. Xander bought us some solar molar contraption that apparently gives of some sort of pulse that will chase the little tunnel rats away for a 75 square meter area. Nice! Beats stuffing moth balls and garlic down every hole that appears to try and chase them away.

It’s really been a rough month for me, and it’s only the 14th now (Oh yeah, happy Bastille Day to all the frenchies), I didn’t even realise how much I depended on Sparrow at work and Xander at home before they both vanished for a month. I am absolutely exhausted. It’s really good to have them all back where they belong.

Expect more regular updates again soon…with pictures of course!

I don’t even know where to begin!

Let’s see…

The last time I managed to get a post out was just before my last exam. Well, the last one was not much fun to write - I guess all the recent chaos just caught up with me and I was not prepared. *sigh* Oh well, maybe next time?

Saturday my parents arrived from Johannesburg for a visit…it’s been wonderful for me to have them here with me and to be able to show them “my world” down here.

We kicked it off with a braai at the house, which was a rip-roaring success. Just to give you an idea, the last guests left at 07:00am! I bought a small mountain of firewood and we made fire in both fireplaces…nice and cosy. ET brought yummy potato bake and salad, and my mom baked bread. Troep and Alexander helped with the fire-making and we played Jenga with Old Brown Sherry shooters, pool, and naughts and crosses in between just chatting and having a good time. I could tell that my dad was also having a blast and at some stages he was busy playing two different games at the same time!

Jenga, for those who don’t know is a game where you stack a whole bunch of teeny tiny wooden blocks on top of each other and then take turns to pull out a block and add it on top without making the stack collapse. It defies the laws of gravity and reason. Now with a local twist that we added when you do make the stack fall you have to drink a shooter and write an instruction or dare on the block that finally did it, if there is already something written on that block you have to do that. My dad wrote one that would have you mow the lawn (yes, yes, it’s a bit lush at the moment with all the rain), and Cookie wrote a very X-rated one “make love to the person next to you” and warned us not to play the game alone in future (something tells me that particular block will only be in circulation for very special games).

Here are some of the pics from the party. As you can see someone ended up saying the B-word as well and rules are rules.

Sunday morning after what felt like 10 minutes of actual sleep my folks picked me up to go visit family in Citrusdal. I’ve been meaning to catch up with my cousin Natasha since I moved down here but there never seems to be time and Citrusdal isn’t even on my map. What a beautiful place…talk about wide open spaces and serious farm style living. Now that I know where it is I will definitely be going again, maybe for a weekend or so?

I took a day’s leave on Monday to spend with my parents too (I know the rest of SA had a public holiday but we only get the UK ones in our office), and we did some serious sight seeing. We drove out to Melkbos to go see our old house where we used to live when I was about 4 years old and then zipped through to Houtbay, Simons Town and Muizenberg. I haven’t really had any excuse to venture out that way and who knows when I would have made time to see it so it was really nice to do that with them while they were down here.

All too soon it was time for us to say goodbye again. I hate goodbyes…

Every time I see my family I wonder what the hell I’m doing down here so far away from them? In general I am very happy and I’ve met some awesome people and learning how to really stand on my own two feet has been educational and fulfilling to say the least, but life is so short…am I doing the right thing? Anyway, these are some of the things I’ve been thinking about over the last few days. I’m not making any decisions yet though about staying or going. I promised myself a year and that’s what I’m going to stick to. Plenty of time to obsess about this till December.

On Tuesday, it was back to the salt mines for me after a great long weekend. Far from being uneventful my “Monday” took a turn for the dramatic when work was interrupted by gun shots downstairs. We share a building with ABSA and some robbers shot a 69-year old man outside the bank because he didn’t want to hand over his briefcase. Luckily it wasn’t fatal and they only shot him in the leg, and even more lucky for him that one of my colleagues is a trained paramedic and was able to administer first aid while we waited for the ambulance to arrive. I wish I could have been more surprised or shocked when it happened…is this what our country is coming too? The smell of gunshot hung about outside…do you know what smell I’m talking about? And why does it smell so familiar to me?

The office was rattled and it showed in our work for the day. We’ve also taken to locking the door while we work because we found out that another shop downstairs was burgled on Monday.

This whole week has not been super productive at work. We had all the excitement of the shooting and the burglary downstairs and on top of that our Sparrow has not been there to tell us, “May the force be with you” when we needed it. Next week the BigBoss arrives for a three week stay while Sparrow flies off to the Ukraine with his wife to go meet her family and get married again.

On the home front there have also been some developments recently. Troep had vamooshed off to Seekamp for 10 days and Alexander and Chere’ will be headed for Kwazulu-Natal and beyond come Monday, possible for as long as a month. I was meant to get someone to come stay with me here for the month because it’s a pretty big house and could be quite creepy to be here all by my lonesome for so long. And what do you know?! The Big Plan kicks in and my other cousin Ricardo asks if I’ve got room for him while he’s looking for a place to stay for the next month or so…and that’s how he ended up moving in too yesterday. I’m going to feel much better having him around, and it will give us a chance to catch up too.

I think that more or less wraps up what I’ve been up to since I last wrote - sorry for the MONSTER post, I won’t let it get this out of hand again. Expect normal transmission to commence at once. (that includes poems of the week which I think I must be about 3 or 4 behind on by now?).

Have a kick-ass Friday…speak to you again soon!

What a day…

I feel like I’ve just been chewed up and spat out by today.

It started of well enough I suppose. Well, work is usually fun - but my computer is possessed and won’t let me get to my work. I haven’t done a thing to it I swear, but somehow I am the ONLY one having the problem. Anyhoo, Stickleback and his band of merry men have somehow sorted it out by taking the work away and giving me other stuff to do.

Then there was the small issue of break times and boiling water. There has been some grumbling by my colleagues because the kettle is too small to boil water for everyone to have coffee at break times, and it was decided that what our kitchen needed was in fact an urn. At this point I would just like to point out that I was not involved in either the shortage of boiling water, the request of buying an urn, the decision to do so, or in any subsequent matters pertaining to the above mentioned urn…I haven’t actually had coffee at work since the 22nd February, at work I drink water (believe it or not) and I keep my coffee drinking at home.

Sparrow sent our HR guy out to go buy a toaster…and an urn. And this is what he came back with:

Is this not the ugliest thing you have ever seen?! Sparrow said that the next person who says something nasty about the bucket will have to forfeit 20 points on our weekly team scoreboard - I told him he could have all my points, the thing is f-ing ugly, and that’s all there is to it.

I got home and I decided to give my family a call, and share the bucket photo with them (I just knew they’d get a chuckle out of it too). But it turned out today was not going to be a day of chuckles after all…I hardly had time to say hi to my mom when she broke the news to me.

My great-grandmother passed away this morning - 102 is a really good run, not so? Why is it so hard to think of her as ‘not alive’ then. I seriously thought she’d have a good chance of outliving me! She would have been 103 in September… I can’t believe that she’s actually gone. I spoke to my cousin just after I got off the phone with my parents, she says that Ounooi told someone on her last birthday party that she sometimes wondered if God has forgotten her? He’s already taken almost everyone she knew and loved, why didn’t he want her too? I guess she was ready to go then. She was always very lively and feisty, even right till the end she was a fighter.

She leaves behind 2 of her 3 children, 12 grandchildren, more than 30 great-grandchildren, and 2 great-great-grandchildren. That’s quite a lot of trouble makers to leave in your wake . We’re all going to miss her - it just won’t be the same without her sharp sense of humour and unshakable sense of what’s wrong and right in our lives.

R. I. P. Ounooi, He didn’t forget you after all (as if anyone ever could).

Welcome to June

Can you believe it’s June?! Wow…feels like I should start thinking about Christmas soon (okay not quite, but you know what I mean?). Yesterday was Palm Day - the day that we celebrate my brother’s survival after falling asleep behind the wheel and taking on two huge palm trees. Every year on the 31st of May I give him a small palm tree with a ball of foil in it (he used to drive a silver car), and this year Wanette was kind enough to keep up the tradition on my behalf! Here is the little man with his latest palm tree! (A million thank you’s Wanette!).

You may have noticed that the winter header for this year is up (ta-dah! :-D) and I can honestly say, I’m starting to feel it. It’s getting quite chilly at night now.

News on the home front: We still don’t know when we need to move, or if. And the Vox phone/router/wireless-wonder-if-it-will-ever-work has finally arrived. Only it doesn’t work properly. I have to admit, I am not blown away by it. I have internet at home but I have to plug in with a cable instead of wirelessly (as I’m supposed to) because even though my laptop can “see” the router and the router can “see” my laptop I can’t get them to connect wirelessly and the Vox helpdesk is something that you should only approach if you have extreme patience and roughly half a day to waste. Yesterday I was on hold for 20 minutes and I never actually got to speak to anyone other than the switchboard lady - who was keeping me on hold for the engineer and who later confirmed my suspicion that there was only one actual engineer on duty. “Fantastic”. Allegedly you can schedule a callback for when it suits you, but don’t bother - that doesn’t work like it should either. Anyway, still works by cable so fine then for now. It was put the phone down or learn how to travel through the line so I can go biatch-slap someone.

*breathe in*…*breathe out*… right, moving on.

I’ve had a look at the special events calendar for June, not as funny as the one for May - but there are still some gems in there.

1. Children’s Day
2. Praise Yourself Day
3. Repeat Day
4. International Innocent Child Abuse Victim Day
5. World Environment Day
6. D-Day landings (Europe)
7. National Chocolate Ice Cream Day (US) …brr…Wanette says it’s never to cold for ice cream, but I really hope this is a slightly warmer day that the ones were having at the moment
8. World Ocean Day
9. Donald Duck Day
10. Mat Hatter Day…Uhuh, I could do something with this I’m sure, I think the hamster hat will see the light of day again!
11. YoYo Day
12. Machine Day
13. Juggling Day…This could get messy…where can I track down some flare barmen to watch for technique?
14. International Weblogger’s Day…Like every day?
15. Elder Abuse Awareness Day
16. Youth Day
17. Eat Your Vegetables Day…must be someone’s mom that came up with this one
18. International Panic Day
19. World Sauntering Day
20. World Refugee Day
21. International Surfing Day
22. Redemption Day
23. Pink Day
24. Glory Day
25. Play With Yourself Day…it seems every month on this calendar has at least one of these on it, I am starting to wonder about the creators of this list
26. The United Nations’ Day In Support Of Victims Of Torture
27. Stonewall Day
28. Handshake Day
29. Camera Day
30. Go For The Underdog Day…when they say “go for” does that mean support or attack?

There you go, keep up to date on reasons to celebrate.

Ill write again a bit later, but for now there is also the small matter of an outstanding tag by Wipneus for baby pics and a few up to the age of 10 to take care of. Here you go - a few random pics of me from way back when. (The first one is the first photo of me ever at 4 days, second one is me crawling at 6 months, third one is me having second beer that I stole from my dad 14 months, and the last one is me in primary school looking all innocent and so on at 10.). Now, this has been fun…but on a slightly serious note - I am not doing any more tags about the past.

As before if you feel like playing along, please be so kind as to tag yourself.