They did
29 June , 2009This past weekend I attended an old school friend’s (shot-gun) wedding. 
The way it all came together is quite funny. Way back when I just found out I was pregnant I phoned my old roommate from boarding school to let her know and she told me that I was the second person in the last half hour to tell her that! That’s how I found out that J’s girlfriend N was also knocked up (she’s about 2 months ahead of me). I told you the whole world was pregnant, didn’t I?
My roomy must have let him know because he phoned me shortly after to congratulate me. He asked when I was getting married and I told him I wasn’t. J and N decided to get hitched and I said to him that he better invite me – I can’t come and drink tequila with him (like we did at my roomy’s wedding) but I would definitely be there. 
The wedding was held at Bergvallei Estate, which is a pretty venue but it’s F-F-FREEZING! There are 4 fireplaces inside the main function hall but you might as well sit outside without a stitch of clothes on. It’s COLD. Also the floor is so slippery that the best man dropped two dance partners in the first few minutes that the dance floor was open. (I still joked to Freddy that if he asked me to dance I’ll just save him some time and effort and go sit on the floor myself!).
I asked Freddy to come with me and I had a really good time – even though this was probably the first wedding I left completely sober since…well probably since ever. There was a funny moment just after the service when we went to the reception and had to look up our names on the table plan thingy. J had forgotten that I was bringing someone else to the wedding and had put TGC’s name on the list with mine instead. 
Oops!
The food was great. Typical wedding food I guess but since I was really craving some vegetables I had no complaints. 
They had butternut soup as a starter, with mains of chicken, beef and lamb, with some yummy potato bake, cream-spinach, pumpkin fritters, cauliflower in cheese sauce, rice and salad, and three deserts baked malva pudding with custard, peppermint crisp tart and ice cream with chocolate sauce. Yumm!
After dinner we danced a bit too. I managed to push through till about 21:00 and then I was completely exhausted. Good times, but enough is enough?
On the way out I managed to have a quick chat with J (who immediately rubbed my belly! It’s less awkward when it’s at least someone you know rather than complete strangers). He looks really happy and so excited about their baby he’s about ready to burst! Apparently he had already bought everything in blue and decorated the entire baby room when they got word they’re having a girl – he had to take everything back and redo it. Except for a toy car set which he already took out and played with which he has to keep now. How cute is that? That’s the kind of enthusiasm I like to see on a soon-to-be-daddy. I have a really good feeling about him and N’s marriage even though they haven’t been together for very long – looks like they’re both the kind of people who throw themselves into a new adventure whole-heartedly, and how can you go wrong with that?
All the excitement of the wedding on Saturday I balanced out with the laziest Sunday ever. I did absolutely nothing, except get up a couple of times to reheat my beanbag. It was the ultimate lazy Sunday.
I almost got married at Bergvallei! I loved the venue, but would not have enjoyed the cold you experienced! It is good to hear that you are feeling better and are having fun.
It’s amazing how when you’re pregnant you hear about so many other people being pregnant. Something about being in that frame of mind.
Strange how none of my acquaintances have been pregnant for a while.
Also, your Sunday totally topped mine. Except I made peppermint crisp too.
There is something powerful about throwing yourself into a new adventure whole-heartedly It definitely ups the chance for success.
Sounds like a good weekend! Glad the wedding was fun.
Michelle, yep it’s very pretty but bloody hell it’s cold! I’m feeling much better thanks.
SheBee, maybe that’s how it happens? I’m not sure, loads of my friends had their babies before this too. Could be something in the water (or red wine?) or maybe it’s just the economy making another baby boom like after the last depression? All I know is about two years ago everywhere I went people were botching because they could seem to get preggers and now I can’t keep up with everyone that it!
I am very impressed with how industrious you were on your Sunday – I might try something similar on my next one.
JD, I agree. If you have one foot outside the pool you will never learn to swim kind of mentality. If you’re going to do something you might as well do it properly?
Angel, it was. I’m only sorry I missed this month’s bloggirls – I better make a plan for next month!
Lol! yeah the belling rubbing. When the kid is born then everyone wants to touch him / her. That is annoying!
I meant belly rubbing.
sounds like a lovely wedding. i never had anyone rub me lol, maybe i just looked fat.
Spear TA, really? Hmmm…I think I’d mind the belly rubbing less than the kid touching for some reason.
Wenchy, it really was a very nice wedding. I can’t believe you “missed out” on the rubbing – after all you do have many many many children.
I’ve read through your writings since you’ve been pregnant and it seems like you are welcoming single-motherhood with open arms and that you have no complaints regarding this. This is refreshing.
I have absolutely ZERO sympathy for single mothers, or rather, single mothers who became pregnant by someone they were not in a commited relationship with. It seems like you fall into that category. I also feel sorry for your child, since, while he may receive all the love in the world from you (which I think he/she will), he/she will never be able to experiance his mother being married to his father. Granted, if you marry someone while he/she is still very young, he /she will still have the advantage of growing up in an stable, normal enviroment, having both his parents in the same house…
My mother was in exactly the same situation as you, and I grew up without a father. I think robbing a child of a father and a household with both a mother and father, is a terrible and irresponsible thing to do.
Your child will ask you someday how and why she was born. You will not be able to tell him/her that it was out of love for his/her father. And unless you want to tell him/her that he/she was a mistake, you’ll have to lie to him/her.
Sounds like you’re doing well – glad to hear it! Strangers touch your belly – why are they so weird? I have only ever rubbed my sisters’ bellies because the idea of being an auntie always gets me so excited!
Cynthia, thanks for commenting. This is obviously something that you feel very strongly about.
If having a baby was something that went according to plan, I suppose this wouldn’t have been my first choice in the way to do it. From what I hear and see it’s a big responsibility and in an ideal world every person would have two parents who loved them unconditionally and were always there to guide them and help them.
This is not an ideal world though. Fact is that even most parents who start out married and together part ways somewhere along the line, and it’s more the exception that the rule almost these days to find kids with both their original parents still together by the time they finish school. It’s sad to me, since I was lucky enough to grow up in a family like that. My parents are still together after almost 33 years and in fact they just look happier to me everyday.
You’re right, that I didn’t have a serious committed relationship with my baby’s father. But I would never look at my child as a mistake. There will never be any doubt to me (and hopefully one day my child) that his/her arrival in my life was nothing short of a miracle.
I do believe that I will be one of those parents that will (indeed already does even though we haven’t met face-to-face) love my child unconditionally. I can’t say what TGC (the dad) will or won’t do but there is no shortage of people who want to be part of this kid’s life and will love him/her too. Maybe that’s not the ideal, but that is all that I can offer and it’s a lot more than what some kids out there get (even some in two parent homes). I am not about to beat myself up about what could have been, instead I’d like to focus on what IS and enjoy all the good that comes with it. That is why I am not concerned about not getting married because I am pregnant.
As to what I will tell my kid about where he/she comes from? I guess that’s a bridge that I will have to cross/burn when I get there, but the word “mistake” will never enter into the explanation – that I can assure you.
I hope I’ll hear from you again Cynthia. It’s good to hear someone else’s perspective on the situation and I like that you don’t sugarcoat your opinions. Do you blog as well? You didn’t add a link so I wasn’t sure.
Benny, yeah it takes some getting used to. Prior to this I can’t actually remember me ever touching someone else’s belly because they were preggers. But since I’m being rubbed up wherever I go, I feel turnaround is fair play?
Nope, I don’t blog
I just obsessively read them 
Sorry if I came on too strong. Since I have experienced having a single mother, I just feel very strongly about it (as you deduced
)
Like I said, it is refreshing to see a single mother who does not at all complain about becoming a single mother and who seems to have her head on straight.
Wow… I was going to say something lame abotu reheatable beanbags being the best things since sliced bread (which is a lame expression in itself), but now I just want to say “hear, hear” on your response to Cynthia’s comment – so awesome to hear your heart on things. I think you’ll make an awesome mom and although being a single mom will have its challenges, I think every situation brings those.
Louisa have the support of her whole family. We all agreed that it is not the ideal situation but also feel that it will be wrong to deal with the situation negatively. We are all positive and excited about the baby and can not wait for her/his arrival.
Cynthia, thanks. I must say it doesn’t feel like I have my head on straight EVERY day, but I’m getting around to it.
Tamara, thanks you for the vote of confidence.
(Oh and you are so right about the bean bags too!). Being a single mom will surely have it’s challenges and if I thought I really was in this alone I don’t know what I’d do – my family and friends are a big help to me already and baby is not even here yet. I have no reason to complain.
Gullible, thanks mom!
You guys have been absolute starts throughout this. *big huggs*